During my first pregnancy, both friends and family told me what to expect when you’re expecting: the sleepless nights, the incessant messes, and the toddler tantrums. But there was one thing no one ever told me to anticipate in motherhood: lingering loneliness.
Yes, there are those undeniable moments when motherhood leaves me feeling lonely.
Like when I show up at an empty park, and it’s just my boys and me.
Like when I miss out on Bible study or a mom’s night out because my baby is sick with a raging fever.
Like when I get to the end of a day to realize I haven’t had a single adult conversation.
And if you’re a mom of little ones like me, I’m sure you can relate. Don’t we moms all feel lonely at some point? Yet we find it difficult to confess it to ourselves or to others. Indeed, that denial seems the most lonely place of all.
However, we don’t have to hide there in that den of denial. You and I can step out into the light of this truth: you are not alone in your loneliness.
Remember every mom out there you meet is in one of three seasons: she was lonely, she is lonely, or she will be lonely.
At some point, every mom is in the same boat. So, how would this realization change the way you relate to fellow moms?
For me, I think I’d reach out more to other moms, and let them reach out more to me. Simply put, I’d be more vulnerable about my loneliness, and encourage others to do the same.
In fact, that is the silver lining of loneliness. It forces us out of our self-inflicted isolation. It reminds us of our continual need to extend our hands and to open our hearts to community. Indeed, loneliness can be the fertile soil in which authentic friendships with moms flourish!
Furthermore, loneliness also reminds us to place our hope in having the constant companionship of Jesus Christ. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). He has promised never to leave or forsake those who believe in Him for salvation; his Holy Spirit continually confirms and comforts hearts with this truth.
So when motherhood leaves you lonely, may I challenge you to do this. Be grateful for the loneliness.
Because God will use the path of loneliness to awaken you more to the constant companionship of Jesus.
Because God can transform your misery into a mission to reach out to other moms that need authentic community.
Yes, consider yourself blessed when motherhood leaves you lonely. God is preparing fertile soil in you heart for vibrant faith and fresh friendships.
Scripture to Savor: “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9
Reflect and Respond: What specific step will you take to pursue community with other moms? How would it affect your relationship with God to thank him for loneliness?